'Tis our story of two conjoined bros
born attached just under the nose
At the mouth, specifically
Our father horrifically
declared us a bundle of woes.

With that, he skipped town in a flash
left our family without any cash
So our mother, she hooked
but never forsook
her two boys in a can full of trash.

Though embarrassed she was of our malady
And wished us a life of normality
Said, "God made them that way
and that way they shall stay!"
(A glimpse of her twisted mentality).

When feeding, she had to restrain us
For to give us the milk to sustain us:
She stuck long rubber tubes
on the nips of her boobs
And plugged the other ends into our anus.

As years past we began to grow tired
Of the strange way our bodies were wired

No girls and no friends
a life full of dead ends
With a large kitchen knife, we conspired.

Now, the world is a much bigger place
Since the day the knife severed our face
Though the split was uneven
there's no point in grievin
we're just anxious to get to first base!

(And you were expecting
"Man from Nantucket?!")

- Mute